|
| Re: Chapter Thirteen feedback [message #2083 is a reply to message #2031 ] |
Tue, 04 November 2008 21:11   |
starrynebula
Messages: 106
Registered: May 2008 |
IR Operative |
|
|
Message 2081 and 2082, pg1, by Nikki . . .
I really enjoyed these posts. Nikki's story about the fire alarm was amusing. Loved the comment about a kid's view of a suspension!
Nice moment between Nikki and Alan at the end. You almost got me liking Alan . . .
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall. -Confucius 
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Re: Chapter Thirteen feedback [message #2299 is a reply to message #2247 ] |
Sat, 28 March 2009 13:02 |
starrynebula
Messages: 106
Registered: May 2008 |
IR Operative |
|
|
Message 2290, p. 3, Tikatu
| Quote: |
“Nice view,” Anna said. “But quite a drop. I bet no one plays Frisbee up here.”
Dianne snorted. “The kids tried. They learned pretty quickly how hard it was to fetch their toys.”
|
What can I say, I love that line! I can just see them watching the Frisbee land way below.
I also thought that this one and the previous one with Jeff breaking the news to those at the villa was very well done.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall. -Confucius
|
|
|
| Re: Chapter Thirteen feedback [message #2300 is a reply to message #2299 ] |
Sat, 28 March 2009 13:05 |
starrynebula
Messages: 106
Registered: May 2008 |
IR Operative |
|
|
message 2293, p. 3, by susanmartha
Very well written. I think you captured, in Tyler, the worries of any kid facing a situation like that very well. I also like how the bit with Gordon at the end lightens the post up a little which is a nice way to end it.
[Updated on: Sat, 28 March 2009 13:08]
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall. -Confucius
|
|
|
| Re: Chapter Thirteen feedback [message #2332 is a reply to message #2300 ] |
Tue, 14 April 2009 17:31 |
starrynebula
Messages: 106
Registered: May 2008 |
IR Operative |
|
|
message 2329 and 2330, page 3, by TracyFan4ever
Nice job at capturing the moment, especially with your post with Callie. I could really picture her in her apartment watching the game and Elise checking to see if everything was okay was a nice touch! Also kudos to you for not going the predictable route and having both John's and Callie's team win.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall. -Confucius
|
|
|
| Re: Chapter Thirteen feedback [message #2342 is a reply to message #2031 ] |
Sat, 18 April 2009 09:11 |
 scuppy3
Messages: 54
Registered: May 2008
Location: Australia |
IR Operative |
|
|
Page 3, Message 2340, by hobbeth
I liked the way that was handled, and I was disgusted by the agent's disregard for the lives of the innocents. But I'm rather worried as to how the World Government is going to react!
[Updated on: Sat, 18 April 2009 09:13]
|
|
|
|
| Re: Chapter Thirteen feedback [message #2487 is a reply to message #2031 ] |
Mon, 29 June 2009 13:51 |
scuppy3
Messages: 54
Registered: May 2008
Location: Australia |
IR Operative |
|
|
Page 4, Message #2422 by hobbeth
Greatly enjoyed Dianne's interaction with Agent Cassidy.
And I liked the bit with Jacques Hightower.
Quote:
“I hear you, sir. In fact, everyone in the area can hear you. Keep shouting like that and you could start another avalanche.”
|
|
|
Members
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
- my IR:TNP OTP!
Hakuna Matata my ass!